CHSPE Essay Writing Commentary: Score Point 4What time school should start is a topic debated by many. Some people would like school to start later and some want it to stay the same as it is now. There are many advantages and disadvantages to starting school at 9:00 am, but I believe school should start at an earlier time.
An advantage to starting school later is that, students would have more time to sleep. They could also do homework at night and if they did not finish it the night before they could wake up an hour earlier and finish it. Many studies have been done that show that when teens start school later they learn more. That would seem to be a good reason to start schools later so that students can become smarter and do something in life.
A main disadvantage to starting later would be getting out of school later. The students then would only have a couple of hours of sunlight to go outside. Students would also have to stay up later doing homework. If students participated in sports they would be playing at night and getting home late. They would do their homework and go to bed around midnight. A later start would mean students would just stay up later at night. Students that had jobs would also be effected by a late start. They would only be able to work few hours as they would be getting out of school later in the day.
The advantages for staying with the early start time is students get out of school earlier. They have time to go somewhere with their friends and relax, before going home and doing homework. Students who work or play sports have plenty of time to do both of those things. One disadvantage of an early start is that many students may not pay attention in class because they are tired or come to school late because they wake up late or had to finish a project for a class. However, these are situations that a student can fix by going to bed earlier
To me when you look at the advantages and disadvantages, starting school at an early time is better. I would not like getting out of school at 4:30 or later. To me going to school and getting out early is better. You have time to go somewhere with your friends before going home and doing homework. I like to go and get school over fast. I hope officials do not change the time to start school to 9:00 am.
The writer clearly establishes a position in the first paragraph ("I believe school should start at an earlier time") and structures the essay to make it easy for the reader to follow the argument. The essay discusses advantages of late starts in the second paragraph, disadvantages in the third, and both advantages and disadvantages of early starts in the fourth paragraph. The writer concludes by restating support of the early start and reiterating reasons for that position.
A score point 4 essay supports its central idea with an adequate degree of specificity. In the second paragraph when explaining the advantages of starting later, the writer states that students could begin homework assignments at night and then finish them in the morning before school. The writer also states that teens learn more when they start later. Similarly, in the fourth paragraph, disadvantages of the later start are discussed, such as problems with playing sports into the nighttime or being unable to work as many hours in jobs. Although the examples support the central idea, they lack the specificity and elaboration needed for a higher scoring essay.
The writer demonstrates competent control of sentence structure and word choice — although there are a few awkward phrases ("To me when you look at the advantages and disadvantages, starting school at an early time is better"), they do not confuse meaning. The sentences are clearly written, but do not exhibit the complexity or variety of structures one would find in a higher scoring paper. Word choice is generally appropriate but lacks precision. The essay has a few minor errors in grammar and usage (some errors in comma placement, usage, and sentence boundaries), but again they do not cause confusion.
Although this essay is not error-free and does not exhibit a sophisticated writing style, the writer clearly demonstrates proficiency in writing a competent expository essay.
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Essay Writing Scoring Criteria: |
5 |
Essay addresses the writing task in an
effective
manner. The essay:
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4 |
Essay addresses the writing task in a competent manner. The essay:
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3 |
Essay addresses the writing task in a basic manner. The essay:
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2 |
Essay addresses the writing task in a limited manner. The essay:
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1 |
Essay may or may not address the writing task. The essay:
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CHSPE Grammar Book
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The Essay Writer
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Learning Disability
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This eBook covers all essential grammar skills necessary for the CHSPE. Read more.... | This essay writing software program is an excellent tool to prepare for the essay portion of the CHSPE. Read more... | This eBook discusses the troubled school experiences of many famous people, why they left school early, and what helped them to become successful in life. Read more... |
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